


More Scars

by smittenwithsugden



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M, Scars, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 05:18:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11684880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smittenwithsugden/pseuds/smittenwithsugden
Summary: Aaron looked at the incoming message and his eyes welled up. He had not told Robert the new number yet and he wasn’t sure he ever could. He put his phone away and rolled over.ORAaron's number of 23 unfortunately changed





	More Scars

**Author's Note:**

> This is for my friend Haley, happy birthday!
> 
> This is a continuation of my fanfiction “[ Scars ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10664808)” that I wrote quite a while ago.
> 
> Now in this one Robert and Aaron just broke up. No cheating in this one, they broke up because Aaron wasn’t able to deal with everything after Gordon. The boys didn’t communicate properly and it all just got too much, so they decided to break it off after Robert saw that Aaron has been self-harming again so he could focus on himself. We start this fic on the day that Robert moved out.

Aaron knew they had made the right decision. He knew it. The pressure of being all right for Robert on top of the demons still dancing around in his head had just become too much. He knew he had to focus on himself, knew he had to call his counsellor in the morning and set up a new meeting, after over half a year of not going. He knew he had to put all of his energy into making himself feel better.

But all of this knowledge did not stop Aaron from thinking about Robert, from missing him. The look on Robert’s face when he had seen the new scars will forever be imprinted in Aaron’s mind. It was a look of sadness and worry and defeat. He will never forget how his voice broke when he asked him how long this had been going on. It had only been a couple days but it had been enough.

They had both cried and then they had fought and then they had cried again. And then they had admitted to each other that this wasn’t working, not like this, so Robert had left.

And now Aaron was lying in an empty bed, watching the time tick by on the alarm on Robert’s side of the bed.

 

_Friday, 4 th August 2017, 1:05 am_

_Robert: ?_

 

Aaron looked at the incoming message and his eyes welled up. He had not told Robert the new number yet and he wasn’t sure he ever could. He put his phone away and rolled over.

 

_Saturday, 5 th August 2017, 2:25 am_

_Robert: ?_

_Sunday, 6 th August 2017, 1:15 am_

_Robert: ?_

_Monday, 7 th August 2017, 0:05 am_

_Robert: ?_

_Tuesday, 8 th August 2017, 1:43 am_

_Robert: ?_

_Tuesday, 8 th August 2017, 1:50 am_

_Aaron: 27_

_Tuesday, 8 th August 2017, 9:52 pm_

_Robert: Still?_

_Tuesday, 8 th August 2017, 9:59 pm_

_Aaron: Still 27._

_Wednesday, 9 th August 2017, 10:12 pm_

_Robert: Still?_

_Wednesday, 9 th August 2017, 10:23 pm_

_Aaron: Still 27._

_Friday, 11 th August 2017, 01:03 am_

_Robert: Still?_

_Friday, 11 th August 2017, 01:05 pm_

_Aaron: Still 27._

_Saturday, 12 th August 2017, 11:42 pm_

_Robert: Still?_

_Saturday, 12 th August 2017, 11:46 pm_

_Aaron: Still 27._

 

And then it stopped.

 

There was no message Sunday night. And when Aaron woke up the next day and checked his phone there was still nothing. Maybe he forgot, Aaron thought.

 

 But there was also no message the following day and no message on Wednesday either.

 

Aaron would never admit it, but it left him feel uneasy. He had seen Robert once, from afar, coming out of David’s shop, but before he could get to him he was gone.

 

So even though he knew Robert was physically okay he couldn’t help but wonder why he wasn’t texting anymore. Did he not care? Did it only take a week for him to get over him?

 

_Thursday, 17 th August 2017, 11:17 pm_

_Aaron: Still 27_

_Saturday, 19 th August 2017, 01:17 am_

_Aaron: Still 27_

_Saturday, 19 th August 2017, 10:19 pm_

_Aaron: Still 27_

_Sunday, 20 th August 2017, 09:17 pm_

_Aaron: Still 27_

_Sunday, 20 th August 2017, 10:11 pm_

_Aaron: Really? Nothing?_

_Sunday, 20 th August 2017, 10:20 pm_

_Robert: Aaron… I can’t…._

_Sunday, 20 th August 2017, 10:22 pm_

_Aaron: You don’t care anymore?_

_Sunday, 20 th August 2017, 10:25 pm_

_Robert: Of course I do. But you stopped, right? Still 27 is great. But it also shows that I was the problem. You’re doing better now, without me._

_Sunday, 20 th August 2017, 10:26 pm_

_Aaron: Oh, Robert_

_Sunday, 20 th August 2017, 10:28 pm_

_Robert: No, it’s fine. I’m happy you’re happy. Continue to get better and maybe you’ll find somebody else to ask you._

_Sunday, 20 th August 2017, 10:33 pm_

_Aaron: I don’t want anybody else. I am not happy. I am coping. We did this so I could focus on myself, right? Doesn’t mean I don’t love you or want you or need you._

_Sunday, 20 th August 2017, 10:39 pm_

_Robert: Do it then. Focus on yourself. Figure out what makes you truly happy, because right now it’s not me._

_Sunday, 20 th August 2017, 10:41 pm_

_Aaron: I don’t wanna lose you._

_Monday, 21st August 2017, 11:53 pm_

_Robert: ?_

_Monday, 21st August 2017, 11:55 pm_

_Aaron: Still 27._

 

They didn’t text more than that for quite a while. Every night Robert would send the question mark and Aaron would reply with “Still 27.”

 

He got better, slowly. It was painful, talking about his dad, his mum, about Robert and Liv, about his trust issues and insecurities, about how he pushed people away, how he didn’t allow anybody to prove him wrong. But he got there, slowly but surely the counsellor helped him in a lot of ways.

 

Aaron felt better about opening up, felt better about trusting other people with the things that were swirling around in his head. He had talked to his mum, more than once, and they figured a lot of their issues out together.

 

Aaron wasn’t well, he wasn’t “cured” or “fixed” and he knew that. It was a work in progress, it was a journey he had to be on all his life. It was a tough realization, that he couldn’t fix this permanently, that this would always be a part of his life. But he learned and he dealt and he got better.

 

_Monday, 25 th September 2017, 10:23 pm_

_Robert: ?_

_Monday, 25 th September 2017, 10:25 pm_

_Aaron: Still 27._

_Monday, 25 th September 2017, 10:27 pm_

_Aaron: Wanna come over? See for yourself?_


End file.
